I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
