good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
