a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
