So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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