I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
