two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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