I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize