bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
