Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
