Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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