My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
