im drinking this country out of the recession.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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