I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
