its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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