did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
