this beer tastes like vomit already
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
