the condom got lost in my hair
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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