***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize