I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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