Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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