The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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