Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
