Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
