I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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