I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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