dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
