Can i not drive my cunt home
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He better not be in your backpack
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
