i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize