I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
