The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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