dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
