So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
