so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
