The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
