I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
