why didn't you poke me back
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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