alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
A+ Viking dick
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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