The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
