sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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