Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm getting married
To pizza
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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