I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
