he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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