so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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