I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
