i don't like sucking hair
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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