I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
