guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
