Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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