I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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