Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize