bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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