I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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