Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
