can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
