fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
