STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
