I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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