It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
