I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize