i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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