her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
