Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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