I don't think brook has ever known best
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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