if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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