Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
