I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm passing your future prison.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
