I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
