jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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