Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
