i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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