after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
